Son/Daughter: Aaj kal mera parhai me zara bhi dil nahi lag raha.
Parents: Itna paisa lagaya hai beta...kaise bhi dil lagao ayse kaise hoga?
Son/Daughter: Aap nahi samajh rahe ham jo batana chah rahe hain...
Parents: Nahi...sab tumhi samajh rahe ho, hamlog ke waqt me kuch facility nahi thi, parhne wale street light me parhte the. Aur tum log ko sab facility hai phir bhi zaban pe bas shikayat rahti hai.....
Son/Daughter: Ji theek hai...phir apni kahani mat nikaliye plz
Parents: Akdam badtameez hogeya hai...
THE END...... of education, of relationships & of parenthood.
RESULT = Worst Situations
Parents: Itna paisa lagaya hai beta...kaise bhi dil lagao ayse kaise hoga?
Son/Daughter: Aap nahi samajh rahe ham jo batana chah rahe hain...
Parents: Nahi...sab tumhi samajh rahe ho, hamlog ke waqt me kuch facility nahi thi, parhne wale street light me parhte the. Aur tum log ko sab facility hai phir bhi zaban pe bas shikayat rahti hai.....
Son/Daughter: Ji theek hai...phir apni kahani mat nikaliye plz
Parents: Akdam badtameez hogeya hai...
THE END...... of education, of relationships & of parenthood.
RESULT = Worst Situations
This is how most of the parents react. An effective parent can change the scenario by just an empathetic reply. It goes like this:
Son/Daughter: Aaj kal mera parhai me zara bhi dil nahi lag raha.
Effective Parents: Kya hua beta? tumhara dil kyu nahi lag raha?? Achcha batao problem kya hai ham samajhne ki koshish karte hain...
Effective Parents: Kya hua beta? tumhara dil kyu nahi lag raha?? Achcha batao problem kya hai ham samajhne ki koshish karte hain...
In response s/he will surely open up to you and then you are in position to diagnose the problem...
According to Stephen R. Covey:
"If you're like most people, you probably seek first to be understood; you want to get your point across. And in doing so, you may ignore the other person completely, pretend that you're listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely. So why does this happen? Because most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. You listen to yourself as you prepare in your mind what you are going to say, the questions you are going to ask, etc. You filter everything you hear through your life experiences, your frame of reference. You check what you hear against your autobiography and see how it measures up. And consequently, you decide prematurely what the other person means before he/she finishes communicating."
"If you're like most people, you probably seek first to be understood; you want to get your point across. And in doing so, you may ignore the other person completely, pretend that you're listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely. So why does this happen? Because most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. You listen to yourself as you prepare in your mind what you are going to say, the questions you are going to ask, etc. You filter everything you hear through your life experiences, your frame of reference. You check what you hear against your autobiography and see how it measures up. And consequently, you decide prematurely what the other person means before he/she finishes communicating."